Compatibility Is Not Found — It Is Discovered
For a long time, many of us believe a quiet promise about relationships:
“If two people are compatible, they will somehow meet.”
This belief feels comforting. It suggests that love is a matter of destiny, alignment, or fate — that the right person will appear when the conditions are perfect. But while romantic, this idea subtly misunderstands how relationships actually begin.
Two people don’t meet because they are compatible.
They discover compatibility by meeting, interacting, and choosing each other over time.
The Myth of Pre-Existing Compatibility
Compatibility is often imagined as something fixed and pre-measurable:
- Shared values
- Matching personalities
- Aligned goals
- Immediate emotional resonance
Before people meet, compatibility is not a fact — it is only a hypothesis.
Compatibility Is an Outcome, Not a Requirement
- How two people respond to difference
- Whether curiosity survives discomfort
- Whether kindness appears under stress
- Whether repair is possible after missteps
Don’t ask, “Are we compatible?”
Ask instead, “What happens when we meet, interact, and stay present together?”